Learning to thrive....

"No more do I want to just survive, but I want to thrive. A flower that survives is prone to whither and never reach full bloom. I want to thrive and blossom in the splendor God has created me to be. " A friend posted that on Facebook, and I loved it! How often do we forget it is OUR choice how we handle life's challenges, changes and adversities. We can learn to just COPE, or learn to THRIVE.

This year has been one of those years for me. Many challenges have been faced, many changes have came and all brought their share of adversity. I have learned that I am not a fan of change. But who really is? I know God has said he will never give you more than you can handle...but at times I have wanted to say "okay God, thats enough". I feel like I have just been "surviving", I want to learn to thrive, to really feel alive and appreciate all the beautiful things around me every second.

Learning to trust yourself, and believing that you are your own worst enemy, but you are also your best asset. Learning to thrive and become the "beautiful splendor God has created you to be". What an awesome thought. Learning to let go of WHO you think you are and becoming what GOD planned you to be. I want to become that person. I once read a blog that brought up a good point. Standing in front of the mirror we see the imperfections, wrinkles, extra weight, etc... but if you look deeper you see YOU, the person that loves, and gives, and is courageous but has fears and doubts. It stated we are "Beautifully imperfect and perfectly beautiful, you are all possibilities happening at the same time."

Day to day I struggle between my own humanness and the person buried deep inside me that wants so much more, wants to express much more and wants to do and be much more. I want to become that person. I want to live a life fully knowing I am at least trying to follow God's plan, rather than ignoring or running. I want not only for myself to thrive but I want my family to thrive. I want to be closer, do more and be more. I want to love more, express more love and I want to always be an example my children can be proud to call MOM. I have failed that many times, and let myself down, but more than that I have let my kids down.


I'm going to quit avoiding change and uncertainty because it might be uncomfortable, it might be a tough adjustment, but I am going to lean into the change and learn to thrive in it. Learn to trust that God has equipped me, and I am capable of handling whatever is in front of me. KNOW that I have what I need and learn to be comfortable being uncomfortable. This will be a new journey for me, but it will be the journey that saves myself and my family. I hope we become a change that others see.

On my mind....

Lately I have thought a lot about responsible parenting, teaching discipline and building good character in our kids. I know that nobody ever said being a parent would be easy. Kids DO NOT come with instruction manuals, they do not come with a 1-800 number for tech support, and they certainly do not come with a BIG RED EASY button.. or even a pause and rewind (Ive looked for those). What they do come with is a basic set of NEEDS, both physical and emotional. These needs MUST be met by the PARENT, and if they are not met, all of them there could be lasting negative effects.

We must provide a SAFE ENVIRONMENT for our kids. Safe from harm, safe from dangers in the home and protect them as much as you can from dangers outside the home. Keep them out of harms way by interviewing caregivers, safety precautions in the home (smoke alarms, doors locked, etc). Make your home a safe place for your children. My son has one friend that will not spend the night ANYWHERE, never has... until this year. He will come spend the night at our house. After the first night here, I said "Yay, P... you stayed all night!" His response, "I don't know, I just feel safe here." As a parent, that meant I was doing something right.

Provide your child with BASIC NEEDS. Water, food, shelter are easy. Provide them with proper medical care, warm bed, appropriate clothing for weather. These are needs that your child must be given.

You must help your child with their SELF ESTEEM building. Accept their uniqueness, encourage them to participate in sports, clubs or activities. Acknowledge your child"s accomplishments and achievements. Encourage your child. Set expectations that are realistic for your child"s age and ability. Teach, do not criticize or ridicule, your child. In saying all that, do NOT build your child's self esteem up so much that they are obnoxious, and think they are the best at everything they do. That is a way to set your child up for huge failure.

Be involved in your child's EDUCATION. Communicate with their teachers, make sure they are doing their homework and assignments. Talk to your child about school. Ask about their day, their friends, and recognize their academic achievements.

Most importantly GET TO KNOW YOUR CHILD. Spend time with your kids, be approachable, ask questions. Communication is key.

Those are the obvious, and easy ones for most parents. The two I have thought a lot about lately are teaching your child morals and values, and providing discipline. I try to do my best when raising my kids. I try to remember that everything I do is a reflection of my kids as well. I can talk to my kids all day about our values and our morals but until they seem them in action it means nothing. Showing our values in our actions is a responsibility as parents. DO as I DO, not just DO as I SAY. Lead your children by example.

It is also your job as a parent to provide DISCIPLINE to your children. Be consistent in your discipline, provide a structured discipline. Have a discipline system that is predictable. If your child acts out a certain way THEY KNOW they will be disciplined because you have set that precedence. I try to hold my children accountable for their actions. I do not automatically assume it is the other kid when there has been wrong doing found. I hold my children to a certain level of behavior. I expect them to respect adults, and I expect to work hard at all they do. Im amazed daily at the level of disrespect I see from a lot of kids... but there again.. I look at the parent and realize the child has not been taught to respect.

I am sure for most of us, having children was a choice. We wanted to bring these beautiful beings into this world and be responsible for ALL their needs. I remember being so afraid of being "a mom" and having all the answers. Guess what.. You don't need all the answers. You just need to be there, and be a parent. Provide the basic needs, emotional and physical. Be a shining example for your kids. Follow your instincts. I pray daily that I learn to become all this for my kids and more.

Responsible Parenting... PASS IT ON! (as I step off my soap box.). :)

Wow..... what have I been doing.

I have told myself for months that I would start back blogging. I would get back into writing and posting about the mundane daily events that happen here at the Cash house. Seems LIFE has prevented me from doing so. Rather it was soccer, basketball, baseball, modeling (yes, Scarlett has done some of that since my last post), or just every day living... I have not blogged in over a year.

I've missed blogging so I have vowed to myself to get started back. In the beginning of 2010 my brother and I had a bet about who would keep up with their blog.. I think we both lost in 2010.. but he is off to a great start in 2011.

So if your still there and still reading.. Im gonna try this again. :) Happy Blogging everybody!